Let me start by saying, I love wedding programs, but maybe not for the reason you think. Sure, it’s nice to see who is involved in the ceremony and how the ceremony will unfold, but my main reason for liking programs is that they serve many purposes. One purpose is, of course, to list out the couple getting married and their wedding party (and even sometimes the wedding officiant).Read More
As a professional wedding officiant, I spend a lot of time with the groomsmen right before the ceremony starts. Many times the groomsmen need my help with some last minute details like affixing the boutonnieres, tying ties, deciding which suit button to button, etc. Because these questions come up again and again, I thought I’d write a special blog post for all the grooms and groomsmen out there.Read More
In order to achieve the fun and festive atmosphere you want at your wedding, there are a few things that you should never do. Actually, these are things that should never be done by anyone on wedding day, not your wedding vendors, wedding party, family members or anyone. In the past, I’ve talked about how to create a calm, relaxed environment on wedding day and how to calm your nerves on wedding day, but today I’m talking about three things to definitely avoid doing.Read More
Your wedding day is filled with festivity, joyful chaos, and lots of emotions. Most married people remember recall their wedding as a delightful blur that flew by too quickly. You will likely have spent months and sometimes the better part of a year or more to plan for your wedding weekend, so there’s a lot of anticipation leading up to the big event. I’ve seen couples who have spent 18 months or more planning their wedding and then get so caught up in every little detail on wedding day that they weren’tRead More
If you're not from Maine or aren't currently living here but you want to get married here, you probably want to know when is the best time to get married in Maine. I've lived in Maine since 2007 and having been an officiant since 2011, so I have a lot of experience to help you find the right time of year to get married here.Read More
It's time to start looking for your wedding officiant. You're getting married in Maine, and it's a destination wedding, so you have no idea who's going to perform your ceremony. You thought about asking a friend to officiate your ceremony, because it would be so meaningful, but, although that friend is a great public speaker, they're kind of disorganized and you're not sure you can trust them to pull it all together by wedding day.Read More
I'm delighted to introduce you all to my fellow wedding officiant and friendor, Erika Hewitt, who is a Unitarian Universalist minister here in Maine. Erika and I share a similar passion for wedding officiating and often refer couples to one another when we're booked. In this post, Erika talks about a phenomenon which is sometimes called "ghosting." Read on to learn more.
Just Say No
As a wedding officiant, I’m in the relationship business in more ways than the most obvious one. I don’t just lead the celebration of your relationship; I also want to create a relationship of trust and collaboration with you, as a couple — even if we never have more than an introductory conversation.
When I meet with a couple so they can learn about me, two things happen: I feel a thrill of “I like you! I hope you choose me” and I pencil in their date on my calendar so that other couples can’t hire me out from under them.
Fortunately, many couples get back to me with the happy news that they’re hiring me. Sometimes, though, couples disappear for months, leaving their phantom wedding date on my calendar, and me wondering whether they’ve found another officiant… or whether they forgot to hire me (believe it or not, this actually happens!).
"We have big hearts and thick skin."
I speak on behalf of all wedding officiants when I say that we hope you hire us — but we hope even more that you’ll find an officiant you feel excited about. We have big hearts and thick skin; it’s okay to email us and let us know we’re off the hook because you clicked with someone else. We won’t feel insulted if you write a short note saying, “Thanks for your time, but we’re going in another direction.” In fact, it saves us the awkward step of reaching out to you to ask, “I’ve been saving your wedding date for three months. Should I keep holding it?”
From the officiant to the florist, from the lighting pros to the band, all of us in the wedding world will go out of our way to make you feel valued, respected, and understood as you plan your perfect day. Paradoxically, one way you can reflect that back to us is to just say no — instead of disappearing — when you decide that we’re not the one for you.
Rev. Erika Hewitt
Planning a Wedding
Yay, we're engaged! Holy crap, now we have to plan a wedding!
Those two sentiments often go hand in hand, amiright?! You get all excited and swept away with the engagement, and then the reality of planning a huge, fun wedding sets in. And even if you're planning a small, intimate wedding, trust me, there are still a million details to think about. So, you need some help!*
Let me help you by giving you a list of the best online resources for planning your Maine wedding. If you're getting married in Maine, you must check out these great sites. The Maine wedding websites listed here share local information that you won't find on national blogs and websites. So if you're getting married in Maine, make sure to check out these great local resources.
Maine Wedding Planning Resources
Maine.gov Getting Married in Maine
Borrowed and Blue Coastal Maine
A Sweet Start (shameless self-promotion!)
Acadia National Park Weddings
Visit Maine Wedding Planning
WellWed Maine and New Hampshire Weddings
Style Me Pretty Maine Weddings
Did I miss any online resources providing information for couples getting married in Maine? List them in the comments below.
*I always, always, always encourage you to hire a wedding planner, especially if you're having a Maine destination wedding. You might think you can't afford one, but actually, you can't afford not to have one.
Have you set your wedding budget yet? Good for you! Now you and your sweetie need to sit down and decide on what's most important to each of you. Wanna splurge on photography? Hire a planner to guide you through the entire planning process? Cater the heck out of your reception? You get the idea. So, why do you have to have this conversation, you might ask? Because, by having the conversation now, before you've hired these vendors, you're going to save yourselves from so much squabbling later on.
It's a good idea to decide what's most important to each one of you on your wedding day. For some the florals are the most important, for others it's the DJ. Knowing this will help you figure out how to spend your carefully considered wedding budget. Think about this: If you're getting married at a botanical gardens, maybe flowers aren't as important and then you free up some funds to pay for that awesome band that everyone is Maine is trying to book. Or maybe you want to splurge on wedding photography (which I highly recommend) so you have to cut the guest list so you can afford that amazing photographer you've always wanted. Some of you probably do this intuitively, but it's such an important concept, it's worth talking about again.
I hate to say it, but if you skip this important step in your wedding budgeting, there will be blood. I mean, unless you're, like, a rainbow unicorn couple and you agree on everything, you're going to have different opinions about each aspect of the wedding. Avoid wedding-planning-fights (yes, they're real) and feel really good about yourselves by talking this through before you actually spend a penny. So, when it's time to book your vendors you already know exactly how much of the overall budget/pie you'll spend on each one. And then you'll think "Wow, Maria was so right, we should totally send her a 3-carat diamond tennis bracelet to thank her for her wisdom!" Hahaha!
I'd love to hear about what's most important to you? What did you splurge on? What's not that important to you? Where are you pulling back?
I recently officiated a wedding where the guests were asked to turn off all devices during the ceremony. I supported the idea of unplugged weddings before this, but not until I experienced it first-hand did I understand the power of guests putting down the camera during the wedding ceremony. Everyone focused their energy and attention on the bride and groom. Seeing all those faces, which are normally hidden behind camera screens, brought such life to the ceremony. It truly felt like each person there was a witness, which is exactly why they were invited in the first place.
Just in case you needed them, here are the top five reasons to have an unplugged ceremony:
- Guests' total attention and focus on the ceremony.
- Photographers will get beautiful shots without having to crop out phones.
- Processional shots not ruined by guests leaning into the aisle.
- Energy and mood of the ceremony improved (trust me on this one!).
- Smiling faces of your friends and family looking up you.
Check out these photos to see how beautiful an unplugged wedding ceremony can be. All photos by Greta Tucker Photography.
At the end of the ceremony, I announced that it was time for everyone to take out their cameras, and start taking photos. We gave the guests time to get a few shots. It worked so well! The photo below is from the photo opp.