Number one secret to a happy wedding

Number one secret to a happy wedding

Number one secret to a happy wedding

Number one secret to a happy wedding | Photo by  Annie Spratt  on  Unsplash

Number one secret to a happy wedding | Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I’ve been officiating weddings in Maine since 2011, so I feel like I can say with confidence that I know the number one secret to a happy wedding day. You might think I’m going to say something like relax and try not to stress, which is definitely important. Or maybe you think I’m going to say calm your nerves, which again is a great idea. I’m sure you know I’m going to say hire a wedding planner, which is the second best way to have a stress-free and happy wedding day. But the number one way to have a fun, laid back and carefree wedding day is this:

The Secret

All you have to do is trust your professional wedding vendors! Assuming you’ve put together an awesome team of professional Maine wedding vendors, then trusting them and allowing them to do the job you hired them to do is the BEST way to ensure you will enjoy your wedding weekend. That’s so simple, right? Yes! Unfortunately, the couples I’ve seen who are the most stressed out are either the ones that didn’t hire professionals or the ones who cannot or do not want to let go of control. I’m totally speaking from experience here as I was in the latter group.

Learn From My Mistake

I made the wise decision to hire wonderful, professional wedding vendors for my Maine wedding. But I made two mistakes:

  1. I didn’t hire a wedding planner or coordinator, and

  2. I couldn’t let go of control.

I loved planning my wedding. I had a 10-page vision document (this was before Pinterest existed – gasp!), I had to-do lists and items-to-purchase lists, I had Excel spreadsheets and binders, I even gave everyone in my family their very own to-do list on wedding day. Let’s just say, I was an organized bride. But, this attention to the details and desire to be in control of said details was my downfall.

When it came to wedding day, I was unable to sit back and relax. I was unable to enjoy getting ready with my sisters and best friend. I was unable to enjoy seeing all the fruits of my labor coming together. Instead, as I was getting my hair done, I had a walkie-talkie in my hand and was directing my sister on the setup taking place outside the window I was sitting in front of. I was managing the entire production while I was getting my makeup on. Just thinking back to this moment on wedding day makes me so sad. I wish I could have just let go and trusted that either everything would happen the way I planned for it to, or that it was going to be fine however it ended up unfolding.

Stressed Out Bride

I was a totally stressed out bride. I don’t think I was mean to anyone, but I do remember telling the photographer to take the family photos even though one of my sisters wasn’t in it because she was nursing her baby. I basically, said, “Forget about her, just take the photo!” WTH, Maria?! This is not how you want to be on your wedding day. You do not want to get through the photos so badly that you’re willing to exclude your own sister. Man, I was stressed out.

It All Comes Down to Trust

So, my friends, learn from me and do not make the same mistake I did. You can be as organized, detailed-oriented and crazy leading up to the wedding as you want, but the second the rehearsal starts, you need to let go. If you truly want to enjoy your wedding weekend and feel relaxed and at ease, all you have to do is:

  • Trust all the professional vendors you’ve hired.

  • Trust that they all have your best interest at heart, which they do.

  • Trust that they know what they’re doing.

  • Trust that if something goes wrong, they will fix it.

  • Trust their intuition and experience and listen to them when they give you advice.

  • Trust that the most important thing to each and every one of them is that you have the wedding of your dreams.

It may be simple, but for some of us (ahem…me!) it’s not easy. But, if you visualize yourself being laid back and relaxed and if this is really how you want to experience your wedding weekend, then it will become your reality!


COVID-19: I’m booking small, safe weddings for 2020 and all weddings for 2021 and 2022. Check your availability