(unsolicited) marriage advice

(unsolicited) marriage advice

(unsolicited) marriage advice

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Photo by Elem & Elem Photography

Photo by Elem & Elem Photography

at this time of year, the ending of “wedding season,” many couples are going through a strange phase in their relationship: they are no longer planning the wedding, they are now living the marriage. if you’re like me, you spent months planning your wedding (8 for me). it was my full-time job. it’s all i thought about. so once it was over, it was like “now what?” here are some of my answers to that question: 

  • get a hobby. any hobby. you may not know what it is you want to focus on, so here is my advice: check out the local adult ed brochure and just pick something. pie baking, conversational spanish, tai chi, biography writing, whatever, just try one. 
  • find something you both enjoy doing and do it together. again, adult ed classes could be a good place to start: ballroom dancing, conversational spanish, organic gardening, mushroom foraging. 
  • plan your next vacation. you still need something to plan? keep the momentum going by researching your next vacation destination. 
  • start a new sport. double points if you can do it together or on a team (ultimate frisbee, anyone?)
  • buy something big. i’m not saying just buy something big for the heck of it, but if you’re ready, put your energy into buying a house or a car or a new washer and dryer. the research and time you’ll need to do this can fill the hole. 
  • learn to meditate. learn to let the hole be a hole. feel the void that’s left after the wedding. sit with it. breath into it. yoga, tai chi, meditation…anything to just relax into your new life. 
  • finally do all the things you see in those ridiculously styled engagement shoots: go apple picking, take a picnic in a meadow, ride vintage bikes, go for a walk carrying huge balloons (are you reading the same wedding blogs i am?!), but do it all without a camera. do it just because you want to spend quality time together, not because it’ll make for perfect engagement photos. 

are any of these helping? do you have other/better ideas? feel free to share them in the comments below.  

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